As I sat at the window
on the eve of that day
I glanced at the sky
and saw me a sleigh
I went out on my doorstep
and said to myself
I know those are reindeer
and a jolly old elf
By the way he was flying
there was something not right
He was yelling and laughing
Could Santa be tight?
He crashed into my roof
and I saw his sled hitch
He totalled my chimney
the son of a bitch
I have to admit
I got really pissed
I grabbed up my shotgun
with that I won't miss
I saw him turn
to make one more pass
But he flew right on by
while he showed me his ass
Now the lead reindeers nose glowed
and showed him the way
he lit on my roof
and fell out of his sleigh
He said with a grin
"I feel kind of weird,
but I can fix that damn chimney"
and poof, it appeared
He slid down that chimney
while laughing with cheer
He popped out of the fireplace
and he passed me a beer
He sat in my arm chair
and said "I'm not bad
it's the places I've been
and the drinks that I've had"
It was Bailey's in Ireland
Whiskey at Donner's Pass
and that Jagermeister in Germany
really kicked my old ass
He drank seven beers
I think I had three
It was really fun chatting
just him and me
He said "I'll be going"
up the chimney he went
I could tell by his stivver
he was pretty well spent
He got into his sleigh
There was no HO! HO!
On Dancer! On Prancer!
Oh frig it!Lets go
I did hear him say
as he went out of sight
"I'll be some sick tomorrow
but I feel great tonight"
HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
Kevin McKenna
