WHAT'S UP WITH SANTA?

As I sat at the window

on the eve of that day

I glanced at the sky

and saw me a sleigh



I went out on my doorstep

and said to myself

I know those are reindeer

and a jolly old elf



By the way he was flying

there was something not right

He was yelling and laughing

Could Santa be tight?



He crashed into my roof

and I saw his sled hitch

He totalled my chimney

the son of a bitch



I have to admit

I got really pissed

I grabbed up my shotgun

with that I won't miss



I saw him turn

to make one more pass

But he flew right on by

while he showed me his ass



Now the lead reindeers nose glowed

and showed him the way

he lit on my roof

and fell out of his sleigh



He said with a grin

"I feel kind of weird,

but I can fix that damn chimney"

and poof, it appeared



He slid down that chimney

while laughing with cheer

He popped out of the fireplace

and he passed me a beer



He sat in my arm chair

and said "I'm not bad

it's the places I've been

and the drinks that I've had"



It was Bailey's in Ireland

Whiskey at Donner's Pass

and that Jagermeister in Germany

really kicked my old ass



He drank seven beers

I think I had three

It was really fun chatting

just him and me



He said "I'll be going"

up the chimney he went

I could tell by his stivver

he was pretty well spent



He got into his sleigh

There was no HO! HO!

On Dancer! On Prancer!

Oh frig it!Lets go



I did hear him say

as he went out of sight

"I'll be some sick tomorrow

but I feel great tonight"

HAVE A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS
Kevin McKenna